I cut it significantly to a minute or so and I'm much, much happier. Its punchier with more subtext.
I also learned to consider MOTIVATION VS JUSTIFICATION.
MOTIVATION is why a character does what they do
JUSTIFICATION is why they say they do it.
Often a character lies to themselves, either to excuse bad behaviour or because they cannot face their inner selves. I considered this for my character. He is debating rejecting a lifetime achievement award.
MOTIVATION: A fear of death and being forgotten
JUSTIFICATION: He says he can achieve more than they say he can
Anyway, now I must consider cadence, pacing and tone to bring the performance together. I'll first record it myself and then find an old actor to do it, so I may begin animating it on the 19th.
I also did some character design which may need amending but it's a start
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